


Atonement

by Cat_Moon



Series: Half Breed [11]
Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 05:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Turner's finally gain some peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Atonement

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the series, "Half Breed." As such, it's a good idea to read them in order. One follows from the other in what happens; they aren't stand-alone stories.

_Being a crime reporter, you learn a lot about how the human mind works. Like the police, you see firsthand how fragile and fallible human memories can be. That was demonstrated very well once in a Police Investigation class I took in college. Unbeknownst to us, our prof. had set it up for a "hooded assailant" to burst into the room and 'rob' one of the students at gunpoint. Afterwards, we all had to give our eyewitness reports of what we saw. It was like we'd all been to an entirely different robbery! The accounts where that different. And when we saw the actual 'thief' in person, more than one of us was astounded at how the details we were so sure of were so wrong._

_Memories with intense emotion attached to them can be more accurate, or less. Like when we block out traumatic events, oh, say, like our own kidnapping. Or when we recall something so strongly because of the emotion attached to it. Like the loss of a father. I have to wonder if vampire memories are the same. Do they remember more vividly, because of their heightened senses? Or, does the passage of centuries fade the memories so much they vanish altogether? Maybe they hang onto them desperately, afraid of losing that fragile link to their past. Or block them out entirely to protect themselves. What are we without our memories? Is that what separates humanity from the monsters? The ability to connect with our past emotions?_

 

XXX

 

Beth Turner stood in front of the yellow police tape, microphone in hand, giving her report on the most current grisly murder L.A. had to offer. It was just before noon, and for the first time she could remember her mind was more on her upcoming lunch than the story.

"Police currently have no leads, or suspects, so for now this murder remains a mystery. This is Beth St. John reporting for Buzz Wire."

She lowered the mike and stepped over to Steve, her cameraman, only to find him giving her a strange look. "What?" she questioned. "Is my fly unzipped or something?" she quipped.

"Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?"

"Huh?"

"Beth _St. John_??" Steve echoed, grinning at her.

Eyes going big, her hand flew to her mouth. _Whoops_.

"We'll edit it out, no problem."

"Thanks." The name had just slipped out automatically. Even though they weren't married yet, she really did think of herself as Beth St. John now. It was actually strange to say Turner. She glanced at her watch, and grimaced at what she saw. "I've gotta get out of here or I'm going to be late for a lunch date."

"Lunch date?" Steve inquired suggestively.

"I wish," she shot back, pulling out her car keys. "It's a…meeting with my lawyer."

 

XXX

 

Beth and her father had spoken several times, but although they'd both been trying, things were still strained between them. Therefore, when she'd gotten his lunch invite, she was of mixed feelings about it. Part of her desperately wanted to mend the fences of their relationship; the other part was having trouble getting past her sense of abandonment.

So it was these thoughts she wrestled with as she pulled her car into the lot at Buzz Wire, and glanced around to see if Aldo's Lexus LS Hybrid was there yet. Sure enough, he was parked in a visitor's space close to the door. Bracing herself for an uncomfortable afternoon, she made her way to his car and got into the passenger side.

"Sorry I'm late; I was out on a story."

"No problem," Aldo assured her. In the pause that followed, she suspected he actually hadn't known whether she'd show at all or not.

"So where are we going to eat?" she asked to fill the awkward silence as he pulled out into the street.

"The one doing the eating gets to choose," he answered with a slight smile. "Actually, I have a stop I want to make first. As you know I've been looking for a place to live since I moved back to L.A. I recently found a place that seems…perfect. I was hoping you'd give me your opinion."

"You really don't need my opinion," she protested. "It's your place, you can live wherever you like."

"But nevertheless, I'd like you to see it."

Beth nodded, and let silence fill the car. She was used to that, as they often both seemed at a loss for what to say to each other. What could they say, really? It was what it was. She contented herself with gazing out the window mindlessly, that is, until the streets they were driving down started looking more and more familiar. As they turned onto Oak Drive, she knew with certainty where they were headed.

Beth stared at her father's profile as he smoothly pulled the car into the driveway of her childhood home.

When he cut the engine the only sound for long moments was the ticking of it cooling. "Well, what do you think?" he finally asked, not looking at her.

"I—" was all she could manage, not knowing how to feel. It was a huge gesture that rocked her, that he would do something like this, buy back their old house… It was obviously meant to atone, and she couldn't remain unmoved in the face of it. Or maybe he was trying to recapture the past he'd lost so long ago. It was both beautiful, and sad.

"Let's have a look, shall we?" he said glancing at her for just a brief moment before getting out of the car.

Beth followed more slowly. The house looked the same as it had back then, except for the For Sale sign in the front yard and absence of her mom's white lace curtains on the windows. She tried to dam up the memories that threatened to come flooding back, but knew it was a losing battle.

One of her earliest memories was of that front sidewalk. It had been repaired at some point, was now perfectly even. Running down the long path in excitement to meet her daddy when he returned from work one night, she'd tripped over a break in the concrete and skinned both knees. He had tended her wounds and dried her tears.

She was startled when Aldo put an arm around her shoulder, clashing the past with the present. "We can go inside," he said, leading her to the door. Pulling out a key, he unlocked it and gestured her inside.

The interior was quite different. Empty, no furniture, it was a ghost house full of echoes of the past. Empty. Their footsteps seemed unnaturally loud on the bare wood floors as they walked through.

"When we chose this house, we had you in mind," he related. "Your mother was pregnant when we moved in. We wanted a home that would be a nice place for a child to grow up. Your mom fell for this place the moment she saw it."

"She hated having to sell it," Beth countered, wanting to add realism to the hazy fond memories of a past that was gone. "But when she got sick and knew she was dying, it was the wise decision. I wished she'd let go of the past a long time before that."

She remembered the pain in her mom's eyes when she had to give that one last piece connecting her to her true love away. Beth had gotten over the childish daydreams that she'd someday have a stepfather a long time before. But it was even harder now, now that she knew much more intimately what her mother had endured – when all she had to do was try to imagine living without Mick. She couldn't help wonder if her mom had had no strength left, no will to live to draw on. Now that Beth was an adult and living her own life, it was okay to let go. Maybe she thought she'd be reunited with her dead lost love after all. It seemed too cruel a fate for a good, loving woman to suffer.

Beth refused to cry as they walked upstairs, stopping at her old room. She hovered just outside the door, not wanting to look inside… but the memories came anyway…

"I remember helping her decorate the nursery. She was so excited, I was so terrified." Aldo laughed slightly. "But I'll never forget her radiant smile as she painted those little bunnies on the wall. It was the one thing I hated myself for her having to give up, when she chose me. The chance to have a baby of her own. By some miracle, I was able to give her you. A beautiful daughter. "

What Beth remembered was sitting by the window in her room, looking out and trying to understand why daddy wasn't going to be coming home from work anymore. Why her mommy was in the other room crying. Trying to be quiet as to not upset her little girl, but Beth had always had really good hearing…

The only saving grace for her had been when her guardian angel had come along, and given her back that sense of security, of being protected that she'd lost with her father. Later she'd sit by the same window and think about the mysterious stranger who'd been there for her when no one else was. Wondering, imagining… Her thoughts had shifted with her age. The four year old's guardian angel, adolescent's superhero protector, teenager's knight in shining armor. Then, he became her best friend, and now her lover. Soon he would be her husband. Even now, Mick was the one constant presence in her life that smoothed the pain away.

"For a brief time there was only happiness," Aldo continued. "Then I slowly began to realize the implications of what was happening. I did some careful investigation, found out what a danger it is to be a—to be half vampire and half human. I thought of my beautiful little girl harmed because of what I was, and I wanted to destroy myself to keep it from happening. I went from absolute joy to abject terror for my family."

"Do you really believe something bad would have happened if you'd stayed?" she asked, looking directly at him for the first time that day.

He met her gaze steadily. "Yes. Vampires know each other by scent, you know that. And something bad did happen anyway, didn't it?" he challenged. "You were kidnapped."

"Yes, but Mick saved me. He protected me. You could have done that."

"He wasn't part of your life, attracting attention to you. He stayed hidden. Look what happened when he did start hanging around you publicly. And would you really have wanted it to be me who saved you and not him?" he challenged.

"I know," she admitted, turning away. She couldn't really wish that, for it would mean Mick wasn't a part of her life. That thought was incomprehensible. "I know that's the way things were meant to be. But it doesn't make it hurt any less," she admitted.

"No, it doesn't," he agreed.

In silence they descended the stairs and walked back into the dining room. Where the oak table had been where Beth and her mom would have many dinners. Her dad would sit there keeping them company when he wasn't out working. Most of his work was done at night. He always "ate at the office". But he'd always have his coffee in front of him, in the steel travel mug. A lot of things certainly made sense now.

They went out through the back door into the yard, and her mind skated over images of playing for hours out there, until her mom would call her for dinner. Stargazing at midnight with her daddy, lying out on a blanket under the dark sky.

The porch swing was remarkably still there, and they both drifted over to it, sitting down side by side. The feeling of familiarity that washed over Beth was intense and bittersweet, somehow connecting her with him and their shared past in a way the reminiscences hadn't quite accomplished. It really was the little things…

"When you were just a baby you used to get really bad colic. Luckily your mom didn't have to lose any sleep, since I was wide awake at night. I'd bring you out here and rock you. It always calmed you right down. I think you liked the night best, too. Quiet, just the sounds of the night to keep us company. It was my favorite time, our special time together."

It really had been their 'special' time. She could now remember many occasions when he'd gotten her out of bed in the middle of the night, finger to his lips to remind her to be silent. It was their secret; mom would have been disapproving to know her daughter wasn't getting her proper sleep. Or maybe it wasn't that, she was sure her mom would have understood. More likely it was just a private thing they shared, just for the two of them.

He had been a doting father, who loved her very much. Yet he left anyway. Parents would do anything to protect their children. No matter the cost. Would it have been selfish of him to stay? She could see some of Mick's struggle in Aldo's, but the difference was huge. Beth was an adult now, capable of taking care of herself and with the right to have a say in her own life. Then, she had been a vulnerable child. An impossible decision, but the right one no matter how painful for everyone. A part of her, getting stronger now, understood that. Her connection with Mick St. John was her destiny. It was him who was meant to save her that night, without question. And in doing so, she had also saved him.

"So what do you think?" Aldo broke into her thoughts. "Should I buy this house?"

Beth slowly shook her head, gathering her thoughts and coming to a decision. One that finally brought peace. "I appreciate the gesture, and I know why you want to do it. But it's not wise. It hasn't been that long, there may still be neighbors here who remember us, remember you. It's too risky. And…" she paused and took a deep breath. "We can't live in the past, in old memories. We need to go forward, think of the future and new memories."

"I guess I just wanted to make it up to you, in some little way," Aldo said quietly.

With the genuine pain in his voice Beth felt the final barrier inside her breaking down. She couldn't help the tears that now filled her eyes. "I'm getting married in a few months, and my daddy is going to be there to walk me down the aisle. I never wanted to get married before… I think it wasn't just about not being in love, but the thought that he wouldn't be there beside me. Now, my wedding will be perfect, because you'll be there to give me away."

Aldo Turner finally broke down at his daughter's words, sobbing into his hands.

Beth did the only thing she could do; she put her arms around her daddy and cried with him. Healing tears. For the pain of the past, and the joy of the present.

XXX

 

Epilogue:

(Midnight Rendezvous)

 

It was almost midnight. Beth startled awake at the touch on her shoulder. Mick was having a boys' night out with Josef that would probably last till dawn so it wasn't him, but she wasn't frightened: she had somehow immediately known who it was. She smiled in anticipation against the silencing finger that rested lightly on her lips. The finger left her mouth to curve in beckoning.

Childish excitement racing through her, she jumped out of bed and hastily grabbed her robe, shrugging into it. Pushing her feet into her slippers, she quickly followed her dad out of the door.

 

XXX

 

The night was silent save for the noises of the insects and animals who shared it with them. The cat that occasionally howled his displeasure at something sounded so much like the old Tom that used to belong to Mrs. Jones next door that they both had to laugh every time they heard him. They lay side by side on the old, worn blanket in the back yard, staring up at the stars. Not quite as bright as they'd once been, the steadily encroaching pollution and lights of civilization dimming them more every year, but they were no less magical than they had been twenty two years ago. Because her daddy was again next to her.

"There's the big dipper," Aldo pointed out as he'd done so long ago. "It's been right up there, in that same sky, since the beginning of time as we know it. The flag of Alaska has a big dipper on it, bet you didn't know that."

"Alaska…" Beth murmured, a glimmer of an idea floating around in her sleepy brain. She remembered how she used to dream about seeing the northern lights, used to be fascinated with the idea of a place where, for a time, there was perpetual darkness.

"In my country it used to be known as the "Butcher's Cleaver." Her dad shuddered dramatically. "I much prefer big dipper."

"Did you used to look up at the dipper when you were a boy?" she asked, sliding her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. She knew the answer, but she had a feeling this time there would be new stories to go with the old. Ones she couldn't hear until now.

"You bet I did. I was born in a small village called Northumberland. It's Newcastle, these days, but Northumberland is the county."

"And when was that?" she prodded with a grin.

He paused for just a brief moment, before squeezing her arm and launching into his story. "It was 1802. Things were very different in those days. The sky was so clear, you almost believed you could reach up and touch the stars. My own father used to take me out at night and tell me all the magical stories about them. I expect he made many of them up himself, not being a learned man. But a lot of the stories were passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth in those days. Fathers and mothers passing them down to their children. That connection is something I think is sadly missing in this modern world."

She nudged him with her elbow, fondly recalling how he'd easily get distracted when relating his stories and had to be gently reminded to get back on track. "What did your dad tell you about the big dipper?"

"Well, I remember one cold, cold night – it was much colder up there too than here. – Did I tell you he used to sneak me a sip of whiskey, to warm me up before we went outside? Mother would have tanned both our hides if she'd known…"

Beth nodded; settling in happily to listen as she finally learned the real history of her family. She couldn't imagine ever being happier than she was at that very moment in time.

Amazingly, she would turn out to be wrong about that, however…

 

finis.

 

 


End file.
